So Ever Onwards...

Haven't really lost much weight, about 4 pounds so far.

Wait is that not...

Cause that is pretty awesome.

Had a break this weekend. Was supposed only to be on Friday night as me and K were having a date night at the pictures. Ended up Running form Thursday night to yesterday (Sunday). Not good and my body rebelled. 

That one of the problems though is it not? You decide to have a break, which is sensible if your read what a lot of the paleo/low carbers say. Not for me though, or at least not so easy. Once i have a little, I want so much more...

Anyhow I haven't gained anything because of it. so back on today. although I am working from home. Let us just say that that is to benefit my co-workers ;)

Alan. 

Finally...

So, I am finally in ketosis. Meat, eggs, fish, cheese, and coffee. Lots and lots of coffee.

Commonwealth.

Common. Wealth.

Common - for use of by everyone. Common store, the village common, etc...

Wealth - kind of subjective but in this case I would define this as material goods and access to medium of exchange (money).

Why am I so fucking angry this morning?

Can it be something to do with the amount of raw cash that has been spent on the opening ceremony to commonwealth games when we have child poverty in this country

It was pointed out to me by a well-meaning colleague that UNICEF have / will have made a bundle from the games so that's ok then.

fair enough... Actually wait a minute...

So we spend tax money on a fucking big daft party with dancing teacakes and John, did anybody NOT know I was gay, Barrowman. And then HOPE that a fucking charity, A FUCKING CHARITY, will gather enough cash from people (who have paid already for the big fucking party) to give something back to the kids and make it all seem worthwhile?

REALLY

Is it just me or does this seem a bit fucking upside down?

We spend on the big party and hope that the charity will take care of the people we should have spent the party money on in the first place.

Well you DO need a big party to welcome all those sports stars from all those little Commonwealth nations. You know those LUCKY sports people who are LUCKY enough to have skills and talent (or in some cases the correct bounty-style families who can afford to get proper equipment and training for their kids) that allow then to raise themselves above their poverty stricken countrymen. You know, those little commonwealth countries that added to the common-wealth. Well they are pretty common and we know where the wealth all goes.

Common wealth my arse.

Come celebrate you all making the elite and upper classes even richer as we have strip-mined your country for everything we can. And left you to flounder on the world stage. But you are part of the Commonwealth so well done, keep smiling.

But anyhow...

Union. As in The Union of Crowns. As in the United Kingdom

I hate being in this union. I hate that Scotland is the poor cousin in this union. I hate that these things, like the Commonwealth games, are just a platform for naive morons to spout unionist crap.

But I'm in ketosis, so hopefully I'll be getting thinner soon.

It's shit like that which is important no?

Angry, Cumbernauld.

Arg...so useless

Toasties for Friday lunch, totally set me up for pizza on Saturday night, then chocolate on Saturday night and chocolate on Sunday.

The excuse?

Well KT on day shift Saturday, and I took Juliet out to see mum (a 50 mile odd round trip) so I was 'tired' and need a 'treat' and 'so did she'. Which may be fair enough but when you bleat about being too fat then there is no excuse.

Oh yes...on Sunday it was 'KT on night shift, baby in bed, I'm tired and need a treat'

Bollocks man, fucking pathetic.

Better do Better.

I do do well during the week. Carb free, green smoothies, exercise. The weekend seems to be the killer.

Literally.

:(

IT HAPPENED!

No...not the weight loss (yet)

I cycled to work today! That my friends and neighbours is just this side of fucking fantastic.

OK, right, I live about 25 miles from my place of work so I didn't cycle the whole way.

I would still be peddling. Well no, I would be dead. or lost. Both.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0295700/

Shudder.

Anyhow, I rammed the bike into the car - the cycle rack needs a decent solid bit of metal to hook onto at the bottom. I don't have a towing hook as the Ford Focus uses a screw-in eye, which I did not get when I bought the car. It's on order but until I get it I cant really use the rack.

So bike in car, work clothes,cycling gloves and pump in backpack and helmet in boot.

I left the car at Deans railway station, this is 2.1 miles from my office according to Davie the store man who lives near there...(quick check on Google Maps) 1.9 miles. OK lets call it 2.

Nice bike ride, the sun was shining and Livingston is replete with cycle-friendly paths. Of course not on the route I choose...Due to my route there was one bit, with no path and loads of lorries, where I walked but that was cool. It took about 15 minutes, and, in the worlds of Jonathan Coulton, 'I Feel Fantastic'

I have sussed out my route back to the car, which will be much less lorry active. Lorriactive. I like that.

So I got in to the office and changed and got to my desk...I was 10 minutes late, but I work in one of those really cool offices where (at least in my role) I don't have to be here at any exact time. I'll leave at 17:10 anyhow. Morally superior and that y'know.

My bike is a dog and a little small for me. It is one which I got free from someone ages ago. I paid about £80 to get it fixed up so its safe enough (I think). It's a bit rattly and if this bike riding thing takes off for me. Which I fully intent for it to do so. I will get a new bike. Just for me :)

I will also get a slightly more padded seat and some proper biking pants. Not Lycra shorts. I mean biking underpants. Need to keep bits out of the way of the pointed seat you know? I don't even know if you can get such a thing.

Alan.

P.s. - Green smoothie at 11 today, having another at 13:00 :)


Edit - I bought a padded bike seat, just so we know these were available as well...

Bike Pants. 

Right...THIS TIME

OK, so I'm a freaking woose? Wuse? Wusse? Something like that.

Crap crap crappity crap...Done well during the week though (apart from Wednesday night when i had a Kebab). Green smoothies and meaty dinners.

The weekend starting from Friday though, different story. White bread, Tattie scones. pizza, chicken with very sugary sauces. Xbox and sweeties. All very nice but I feel the wheat cheat today. Yuk.

Ate a fair amount of sugar free sweeties though. I'm getting used to the sugar alcohols. They no longer have 'The Effect' on me (and if you don't know what 'The Effect' is then think Prunes to the power of gastro-enteritis). I though 'they do the trick', but they didn't stop me from buying and eating the real thing though. Jellies, chocolate, shite.

So they do not do the trick then do they.

Do they?

Out they go tonight.

They will stop me from being ketotic though and they don't stop me from eating the real thing.

Out, out, damn spot....

Ketosis is the plan for the next two weeks, I have the testers still so that's the next move.

Simply put (and I'm no biochemist so simply is good enough for me) Keytones are an indicator of your body burning fat rather than sugars for fuel. Seems like the holy grail to me. Atkins, keto, paleo. they all really come back the same way. Low carbs, Low GI (Glycemic Index), Low GL (Glycemic Load).

The common denominator is sugar. (and wheat really but that's a side note)

No sugar. Carbs only from Veg. Very limited fruit this week too which is a bummer. I'll have prunes in my juice and a apple or a pear in the afternoon if I REALLY need it.

 Smoothie this morning - Spinach, celery, mint, ginger, prunes and Fennel. Very nice it were too.
lunch will be the same.

Alan.

Eeek...It's green but TASTY

It's amazing what a little bit of fresh mint does for a green smoothie.

Many years ago, I had longer hair and a penchant for going to a rock disco called 'The Dreadnought'. Well, the hotel onto which the disco was attached was called 'The Dreadnought Hotel'. The disco (actually I should say 'Nightclub' but I guess, but, in truth, the Phrase 'Magical Drinking Pit' is more fitting, so we'll stick to Disco.) was also known to us head-bangers as 'The Dready', 'The Dreadful', and 'Ah'm nivir goan back tae that shitehole again'

The original is missed but the spirit is still alive and can be found here.

But it just is not the same...

Why am I subjecting myself to this walk down rememberry lane? Errr... ah yes mint.

Yesterday I started to add fresh mint to my green smoothies partly because I know mint is good for you:

http://www.organicfacts.net/health-benefits/herbs-and-spices/health-benefits-of-mint.html

http://www.livestrong.com/article/249915-what-are-the-benefits-of-eating-whole-mint-leaves/

and mostly because it tastes nice. Well nicer than what I had been tasting last week.

and it did! It worked wonders for the smoothies, they taste nice and fresh and minty. Sorted.

So what has that to do with a head-banging, too hot, way too sweaty, way way too loud, rock disco from the seventies and eighties?

The green monster

Take:

A pint glass and to this add:

2 measures of vodka
1 measure of Creme-de-menth
1 measure of Blue Balls
1 measure of Advocate

Fill to the foaming brim with lemonade.

Drink through a straw. It's minty. Its thick. It got banned, even from the dreadnought.

Reviews:
'It tastes like a melted doon mint aero' - random sweaty bloke.

'Man, that's the nicest tasting thing ahv ivin thrown up' - G MAcFarlane

'Urgs, Frangle, fuccchhhin kuiiinnn' - Me


Yeah. I don't drink any more.

Alan.

YE-HAA and we're off....

our heads.

No Really.

Monday man,  I love my life, I enjoy my pastimes. I like my job. it's a nice day. Still hate Mondays though...

So this is it, over the last while myself and the boss have been trying various different eating plans and what not (as I have previously mentioned). to see what works for us, where the pitfalls are and how what we need to not eat fits in with what we feed Juliet.

So research completed. and this is it, ground zero, or at least ground almond flour and zero carbs. lol.

Pitfalls

Friday and Saturday nights.
Tiredness (it took me three attempts to spell that correctly).
General Ennui and cannie-be-botheredness.

Positives

I love meat.
Green juices during the day actually work
Sugar free sweets

That's it.

Green juice for breakfast and lunch
Eat whatever I want at home (keeping the bread and other carbs to a minimum but they are not VERBOTTEN). Simply because I know what my brain does when i forbid it something.
(in the style of the onion) I must have it, suffering Jesus big-balls christ I will die without it. Must, must , must eat that chocolate. now. more. I will DIE!!!!! Helllllp meeeeeeee....munch much munch.
Exercise daily. Yup...daily. But smartly. Running one day/Weights the next. Rinse and repeat.

Simple.

Alan

Odin...

I don't believe in God but I still call Christmas, Christmas. I don't believe in Odin but I still call Wednesday, Wednesday.

Off topic no?

Anyhow. Green smoothie for breakfast. Mixed leaves (actually I wonder if a little mint leaf in there would be nice...worth trying), Ginger, Cucumber, Courgette, Carrot.

It tasted a bit rubbish actually, but I rather think that was down to the lack of sweet fruit.

Still I feel pretty good. Didn't get to bed last night until half eleven as I started to watch a show called 'Orange is the new black' on Netflix. Pretty damn good it was too...I feel a resurgence of the Breaking Bad effect ('Eh..Yeah lets just watch another one...")

Had a nice wee workout yesterday and plan to do the same today, have also restarted my old kettelbell on the desk thing. Works pretty well for me.

Not Planning to weight in until Friday. I don't expect there to be any change, because I have been eating what I want at night. But if I am continuing to be happy and satisfied during the days with just smoothies then that is definitely a way to go.

I am (as well as getting married) planning on doing a Spartan Sprint in September.

Katie too...

http://uk.spartanrace.com/event-details-11

More on that later...

Alan

Tuesday - Chewsday

Yes indeed, I know. That title is pure comedy gold.

If you are a foody (lit. Fat Bastard who is digging his grave with a knife, fork and spoon) and are working to change your lifestyle a bit then you see food in everything...

Anyhoo, my sense of humour is still here.

Moving on. Green smoothie for lunch yesterday, plenty water and some coffee. I was utterly beat by the time I picked up Juliet and got home. Katie got some KFC which we devoured in double quick time. Just sooo hungry and sooo tired.

Actually dosed of holding a sleeping Juliet after her bottle. Not so good, cute and cuddly, very nice father and daughter moment, but not safe for kiddo...

That's what I get for having too little sleep on Sunday night. So Juliet was put to bed at 20:00 and I slept for a few hours on the couch, as it was nice and cool in the living room and then went to bed around half one. (with the usual hourly check on the kid).

Up at 06:00 felt pretty good. Sad about the KFC but lesson learned. GET MORE SLEEP!!!

Green Smoothie this morning for breakfast but I have just munched my way through 100 grams of sugar free chocolate éclairs. These two weeks I am not holding back on the sugar free stuff. I'm not aiming for ketosis. all I'm doing is Green Juice for breakfast, Green Juice for lunch.

Spinach, cucumber, courgette, carrot and ginger this morning. very nice it were too.

Oh wait...sugar free sweeties. I know what that rumbling is....

Alan

Week One. It's Green...

20 Stone...oh wait I've already said that.

So I didn't really do much this weekend to solve the 'fat dad' problem...pizza and a wedding reception of Friday night(chicken and sausage and stuff). Another wedding reception on Saturday (Stovies, Haggis, tatties, neeps).

Fathers day yesterday, big dinner cooked by Valario, my Italian soon-to-be father-in-law. Chips and pie and breaded chicken. hey ho. not good but what can I say. I love to eat. Oh yes, the full bar of bournville last night. Not good.

So it's Monday and time for a clean sweep. Green smoothie for breakfast at 08:15  (Spinach, apple, ginger, 1/2 courgette, carrots). actually quite nice!

It's 11:25 though now and I'm feeling it. The hunger that is.

Katie doesn't know I'm doing the juice breakfast/juice lunch for the next 5 days and then the same next week. I don't like being hungry, but I remember a vet saying, when she was telling me my dog (now gone to the big garden in the imagination) needed to loose weight that 'She'll be hungry, but don't feed her, even when she gives you the eyes.'

I have to accept the fact that I'm going to get hungry. I'm allowing myself as snacks - 1 Banana/day with Unlimited Cucumber and Unlimited Celery a couple of baby tomatoes would hurt either. So there is no need to not snack. Even as I write this I feel my confidence wane.

Must Focus.

So thought for today - why do we not crave food that is good for us?

I mean I have never woken at 3 AM and though 'Fuck me, I could hurt a small animal for some celery.'

So we have two things really -
Hunger and craving

Hunger is what your body does when it wants something it needs
Craving is when your body is telling you it wants something you are addicted too.

I KNOW that this is a very broad brush but you know I have a very broad gut, and thinking in black and white helps.

So if I'm hungry, I'll eat good solid healthy stuff. If I'm craving for it I wont have it.

alan

Instant or Referred Satisfaction?

Hmmm...19 Stone 13...Still

Wonder why that is?

What DID I have for dinner last night. Oh yeah, right.

Pizza and Chicken wings.

They were good, man they were good.

So was the Bournville chocolate.

As I said - no focus, must have instant satisfaction.

At least for breakfast I had the nutri-bullet thing and for lunch I had one chicken breast, two peppers and a courgette.

No exercise because I'm a lazy bastard as well though. That's not so good.

So...

Just had a nutri-bullet (Spinach, Cucumber, ginger, apple, orange, water) and today I'm doing a lunchtime work-out.

A thing I know though is that people who achieve goals tend to focus on the mantra that basically says
"Do well today, reap the benefits tomorrow'

Fat cunts like me tend to say 'More chicken wings' or 'Yes, I will have that ice cream sundae that comes in the 3 pint glass'

or to put it another way 'Eat fun stuff and be lazy, for satisfaction today' . Instant satisfaction. Foodies, drinkers, smokers, druggies. That is what they have in common. NOW. Want it NOW.

Don wanna do it if it's hard.

Just like a child.

Alan

Wednesday. The first Green Smoothie...

So....20 stone. Still.

Not helped by the pie (2) chips and beans I had for dinner last night.

Or the Bournville chocolate I ate while playing Xbox for 2 hours.

Well actually it was 19 stone 13 pounds.

Do you know how big a pound of fat is?

Gross.

My immediate target is 18 Stone. That is me losing the equivalent of 27 of those shown above.

27! 14 pounds in a stone (for some inexplicable reason).

So I have lost one of those. That's good no?

It is.

Yesterday morning I tried the Nutri-Bullet we have at work



Spinach, cucumber, celery, ginger and some water.

Yuk.

I still drank it though.

Today I had Spinach, celery, apple, plum, ginger with water and it was quite nice.

So Nutri-Bullet breakfast for me this week.

I thinking of next week doing juice breakfast and juice lunches.

It's a plan anyhow...

Alan.

It's Because I'm Lazy and Like Pies

20 Stone.

Bugger.

*Check Scales*

Yup. Still 20 Stone.

Double bugger

Quick drive to ASDA, buy new scales. New electronic scales.

20 Stone 2 Pounds.

Fuck.

....

My life for the last 6 years. I've always had problems with my weight. 

Well, to put it another, more truthful, way, I've always enjoyed sitting on my couch or in front of my computer and stuffing my face with Wine Gums, Chocolate, Pies, Sausage Rolls, and all that other crap laden crap with extra crap. It doesn't taste crap though, and the comfort aspect of eating this shite has never, ever, let me down.  

I done the juice diet, and the low calorie diet, and the Atkins diet. They all work I am sure. Atkins, the low-carb diet, is the one that worked best for me. It got me down to about 18 1/2 stones a few of years ago. problem is I didn't build on that. I went back to the couch and the pies, and bounce to about 21 stone. In weeks.

It's not the diets, for me its the focus. I know changing how you eat/lifestyle works. I know that weight loss is 30% physical activity and 70% in the kitchen. I am a fairly intelligent bloke (or so I like to think). I have no focus. 

I'm a dad now (at 43!) and this is my daughter:

  Juliet.

I cant help being an older dad.

But I can do something about being a fat dad.

SO I'm going to blog about it. How many blogs have you read that start with "I'm going to write something every day" and then disappear for months.

I need to write something every day.

And I need to post my weight everyday.

Low carb worked before...focus.

20 stone.

BuggerFuck.

Alan